tonight (yes, i am on the computer, blogging, on date night...i'm also eating pretzel m&ms and watching (500)days of summer. judge away) i have two things to share that i do not believe warrant any of my typical side comments. enjoy....
1. I am just an occassional crossdresser/Transvestite ..... I'm not Gay . I enjoy looking like a male just as much as I enjoy looking like a female ... I only date females ... I only share my secret with a few people , not just anyone . I am easy going and always avoid drama . If you have any questions, feel free to ask me anything . NO question will be considered Dumb or weird. Don't be shy about sending a messege to me ..... I Promise to be very sweet and respectful , even if you're not .I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A "One Night Stand" LIKE MOST GUYS . I'M NOT A PERV . Don't compare me to all the jerks that you have met, because I'm obviously not one of them . I'm just looking for someone who can appreciate the Feminine side and my Masculine side . I'm open to a relationship but not seeking one :)
2. You seem like a totally great person, well established, head on straight, molding young minds, beautiful, vibrant. It's women like you that make me wish I had made better life decisions, invested my time and money and effort more wisely. I would be in a better life situation, and thus could give a woman such as yourself the best, you deserve the very best in life. You've earned it. I not have it. But i'll converse, interested always.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
i have gone out of my way not to name any of the dating websites that i have been using, just in case any of you who have stumbled across this blog are contemplating joining the virtual dating team..i would hate for you to start off with any pre-conceived notions of failure...so, i am not going to name the site i played on last.... i will say, however, that this site is pricey and spends a lot of the money you spend paying them to select your romantic destiny on cheesy television commercials displaying all the beautiful people they helped to find life long happiness...
i was particularly excited about this site because it boasts that they personally select your matches based on "twenty-nine dimensions of compatibility". throw in a nice smile and kind eyes, and i was just convinced this site was the answer to all my searching for prince charming....if we were compatible on twenty-nine levels how could we go wrong?! right??
this site asks you about 53,359 questions before you are even able to fill out your profile or upload any pictures....but i wholeheartedly participated in the interrogation, quite confident that each question brought me one step closer to my soul mate. one of the final questions was "how far are you willing to travel for love?" hmmm...that is quite a question...paris? aruba? sure! i selected a one hundred mile radius of birmingham... after an hour, three glasses of wine and two mini 3 musketeer bars (don't judge! i had to...it was a dessert wine) my profile was finally completed and i was ready to click "submit". after i clicked submit, the website said "please wait we are carefully selecting your matches". i was almost giddy. my prince charming was just moments away....thank goodness, because it would take a pretty impressive match to make the joining fee worth it....
the search for my perfect match took approximately a glass and a half of wine.....when finally i see "search complete. click to continue"......the very next message i read said, "we are sorry. we can not find someone that is compatible with you within your search radius (this means there is no one suited for me within a ONE HUNDRED MILE RADIUS OF BIRMINGHAM...oh.dear.) but don't worry! New people join our site every day. We will email you when we have found matches for you".
so, my dear online friends, you may thank my quirky, matchless personality for the continued opportunity to enjoy my blog.
i was particularly excited about this site because it boasts that they personally select your matches based on "twenty-nine dimensions of compatibility". throw in a nice smile and kind eyes, and i was just convinced this site was the answer to all my searching for prince charming....if we were compatible on twenty-nine levels how could we go wrong?! right??
this site asks you about 53,359 questions before you are even able to fill out your profile or upload any pictures....but i wholeheartedly participated in the interrogation, quite confident that each question brought me one step closer to my soul mate. one of the final questions was "how far are you willing to travel for love?" hmmm...that is quite a question...paris? aruba? sure! i selected a one hundred mile radius of birmingham... after an hour, three glasses of wine and two mini 3 musketeer bars (don't judge! i had to...it was a dessert wine) my profile was finally completed and i was ready to click "submit". after i clicked submit, the website said "please wait we are carefully selecting your matches". i was almost giddy. my prince charming was just moments away....thank goodness, because it would take a pretty impressive match to make the joining fee worth it....
the search for my perfect match took approximately a glass and a half of wine.....when finally i see "search complete. click to continue"......the very next message i read said, "we are sorry. we can not find someone that is compatible with you within your search radius (this means there is no one suited for me within a ONE HUNDRED MILE RADIUS OF BIRMINGHAM...oh.dear.) but don't worry! New people join our site every day. We will email you when we have found matches for you".
so, my dear online friends, you may thank my quirky, matchless personality for the continued opportunity to enjoy my blog.
Monday, January 16, 2012
it's been a while. i know you all probably assume it's because i started dating an awesome boy who is just way into me and, therefore, am no longer on the virtual (or real life) dating around circuit, and therefore have nothing funny to write about. nope. that's not the case. i have just been focusing on enjoying life. right here and right now....a ski trip...girls nights...trash tv...hiking..oh and i got a new cat...two more years, and three more cats and i will just be content to be the crazy old cat lady. but for tonight, i thought i would leave you all with a bulleted list of some funny things that have happened on the dating site in my absence....
amazing screen names:
*2good2btrue (this WAS a boy, i swear!)
*urprincecharming
*imfun4u
*yknot69 (!!!!!!!!)
*funtime4u
(and my all time favorite) FrEsHpRiNcEoFbIrMiNgHaM (he, by the way, sent me a message which said, "hey. do u mind dating outside of ur race?")
email interactions:
"you must be crazy or something. you are way to (!!!!!) pretty to be on a dating website"
"i saw you looked at my profile. you must be too shy to contact me, so i decided to take the pressure off of you and email you first" (actually, i did look at his profile, and decided not to contact him because he sounded like an arrogant tool bag...funny thing about that first impression...it was pretty accurate)
"what do you like to do?" (i responded with my usual list of fun activities..paint ball, four wheel riding, climbing, hiking, camping etc) "oh. i like girls that like to wear heels and dresses." (oh. well, then, we should probably stop wasting eachothers' time)
"you must have made a type-o on your profile. it says you are 27...there's no way. you must be 21. i hope this is the case because i am 18"
assorted awesomeness:
*one of the dating websites has "long distance pin pals" on the list of options of things you are seeking. (wait, what?!)
*one of the dating websites asks "do you have a car or another mode of transportation" as one of the questions they use to find potential matches from you.
*i got an email from one dating website stating that i had been selected as one of "the more attractive people on the website" and i would now be "matched with more attractive people" (wow. good to know prior to the discovery of my ultimate hotness, i was being matched with uglier people)
amazing screen names:
*2good2btrue (this WAS a boy, i swear!)
*urprincecharming
*imfun4u
*yknot69 (!!!!!!!!)
*funtime4u
(and my all time favorite) FrEsHpRiNcEoFbIrMiNgHaM (he, by the way, sent me a message which said, "hey. do u mind dating outside of ur race?")
email interactions:
"you must be crazy or something. you are way to (!!!!!) pretty to be on a dating website"
"i saw you looked at my profile. you must be too shy to contact me, so i decided to take the pressure off of you and email you first" (actually, i did look at his profile, and decided not to contact him because he sounded like an arrogant tool bag...funny thing about that first impression...it was pretty accurate)
"what do you like to do?" (i responded with my usual list of fun activities..paint ball, four wheel riding, climbing, hiking, camping etc) "oh. i like girls that like to wear heels and dresses." (oh. well, then, we should probably stop wasting eachothers' time)
"you must have made a type-o on your profile. it says you are 27...there's no way. you must be 21. i hope this is the case because i am 18"
assorted awesomeness:
*one of the dating websites has "long distance pin pals" on the list of options of things you are seeking. (wait, what?!)
*one of the dating websites asks "do you have a car or another mode of transportation" as one of the questions they use to find potential matches from you.
*i got an email from one dating website stating that i had been selected as one of "the more attractive people on the website" and i would now be "matched with more attractive people" (wow. good to know prior to the discovery of my ultimate hotness, i was being matched with uglier people)
Sunday, January 1, 2012
here's a good one.....
this dates back to the first person i ever met in person from an online site.... we had been texting back and forth for a while. i can't remember the specific details of the texts, so he must have come across as normal and non creepy and he must have used decent spelling, grammar and punctuation. at some point, i can't remember which, we decided to meet in person. Since i was new at the whole internet dating thing, and (still) not convinced that internet dating would turn out anything other than lunatics, i suggested bowling...i figured this was a quick and painless way to meet someone because it gave me something to do other than awkwardly staring at some kid eat a taco and one game of bowling takes about fifteen minutes, with more games to be added if i deemed my bowling partner worthy.
so we met outside the bowling alley. in case you have never had the pleasure of a blind date, i will just tell you that it is always quite easy to spot him. he's the one shuffling his feet, in front of the specified location, with his hands jammed in his pockets, doubtfully scanning the parking lot hoping that a. you will show up and b. you aren't a photo shop wiz.
unfortunately for this young man, i did and i am not.
as soon as i walked up to him, i knew i had made a mistake. he was country as can be. he greeted me with a hug (NO SIR! i do not actually KNOW you and there are very few people in the world that i like to hug me anyway) and he said "howdy ma'am. you sure are real (ugh) purty". (mental note: new qualification: must not be from jasper) I knew right away that this would be a one round of bowling date. i must admit, as soon as he turned around to try his hand at bowling, i texted my friend and said 20 minutes....
luckily for me, i had already planned an escape route. my friend and i had planned, in advance, that i would text her an amount of time to wait before calling me with an emergency situation involving my daughter (original, i know) so, after twenty minutes of bowling, my phone rang and i delivered and oscar winning performance of "oh no. oh my! i will be right there", hung up, and looked at my date with a puppy-eyed pouty face and explained that i was so sorry i had to cut the date short, but i had to go handle an emergency. my date told me that he understood and responded to my second sincere apoplogy saying that it "ain't a big deal" and then he looked at me and said, "i know you think i am weird (perceptive little redneck), but i promise i'd treat ya right and grow on you like a fungus"
i don't think i have ever run away from a date more quickly.
this dates back to the first person i ever met in person from an online site.... we had been texting back and forth for a while. i can't remember the specific details of the texts, so he must have come across as normal and non creepy and he must have used decent spelling, grammar and punctuation. at some point, i can't remember which, we decided to meet in person. Since i was new at the whole internet dating thing, and (still) not convinced that internet dating would turn out anything other than lunatics, i suggested bowling...i figured this was a quick and painless way to meet someone because it gave me something to do other than awkwardly staring at some kid eat a taco and one game of bowling takes about fifteen minutes, with more games to be added if i deemed my bowling partner worthy.
so we met outside the bowling alley. in case you have never had the pleasure of a blind date, i will just tell you that it is always quite easy to spot him. he's the one shuffling his feet, in front of the specified location, with his hands jammed in his pockets, doubtfully scanning the parking lot hoping that a. you will show up and b. you aren't a photo shop wiz.
unfortunately for this young man, i did and i am not.
as soon as i walked up to him, i knew i had made a mistake. he was country as can be. he greeted me with a hug (NO SIR! i do not actually KNOW you and there are very few people in the world that i like to hug me anyway) and he said "howdy ma'am. you sure are real (ugh) purty". (mental note: new qualification: must not be from jasper) I knew right away that this would be a one round of bowling date. i must admit, as soon as he turned around to try his hand at bowling, i texted my friend and said 20 minutes....
luckily for me, i had already planned an escape route. my friend and i had planned, in advance, that i would text her an amount of time to wait before calling me with an emergency situation involving my daughter (original, i know) so, after twenty minutes of bowling, my phone rang and i delivered and oscar winning performance of "oh no. oh my! i will be right there", hung up, and looked at my date with a puppy-eyed pouty face and explained that i was so sorry i had to cut the date short, but i had to go handle an emergency. my date told me that he understood and responded to my second sincere apoplogy saying that it "ain't a big deal" and then he looked at me and said, "i know you think i am weird (perceptive little redneck), but i promise i'd treat ya right and grow on you like a fungus"
i don't think i have ever run away from a date more quickly.
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