Today's story comes from the dating archives... Filed back in November-in the folder labeled "I can't believe this actually happened to me". I was on a real date....with a real life boy. The best part about it? We had been "friends" for quite a while. That's promising? In the movies, girls always fall in love with their awesome friends after spending years being his shoulder to whine on in between every one of his failed relationships. Right? WRONG! In my case, it simply meant that I knew this boy well enough to know that a date with him should have been the least palatable thing I could imagine and that I should have said, "next please!" well before we ended up at dinner together. Luckily for you, who will get a chuckle at my expense; and unluckily for my dignity, that phrase, and frankly, the attitude of being too awesome to go on dates with creeps, hadn't been developed yet.

At any rate, I'm mid way through this date ( A date where I, once again wasted too much time preparing for. I brushed my hair and put on perfume. I even wore my sexy black boots and skinny jeans!) when I get up to use the bathroom. When I walked up behind him, from the bathroom, I honest to goodness hear him making arrangements to meet up with the ex we were whining about last week "as soon as he got finished handling his stuff tonight". I tried to keep the appalled expression off my face, as I made some awkward comment about how dirty the bathroom was. He stammered, "I gotta go. I'll call you when I get through here" and shot me a uncomfortable smile, secretly wondering if I had over heard his conversation. I had. Obviously. My initial idea was to respond by saying, "don't flatter yourself, buddy! I took so long in the bathroom because I was desperately looking for the fire escape out of the back of the restaurant when I remembered I didn't have my car". Instead, I beckoned the waitress over and ordered the two most expensive desserts off the menu and proceeded to take very small bites and chewing as slowly possible while shooting him my best "I'm way to awesome for you" smile.

Next, please!